Okay
by iluvzuzu
Summary: Team Free Will 2.0 fic. Claire and Ben are a little more than concerned about Jesse's state of mind. Can be read as gen or B/C/J. Oneshot; complete.


He sat perched on the railing of the balcony, his hands presumably folded neatly in his lap as they so often were. The sun was setting, and Jesse was watching it. Claire, on the other side of the sliding glass door, drilled holes in the side of Ben's face with her eyes. "We should talk to him," she said uncertainly.  
Ben sighed and turned the TV off, setting the remote down and looking around at her. "And say what? We don't even know what's wrong."  
"So we ask him. Right?" Claire seated herself on the edge of the bed opposite Ben's. "I'm not good at talking."  
"I used to be," Ben said grimly, rolling his head around in circles, allowing his neck to crack.  
Claire looked down, nodding slightly. "What do you think is the matter?"  
"Maybe it's this job. Maybe it's getting to him. Hitting a little too close to home." The job was fairly difficult, in all actuality, and Claire, Jesse, and Ben hadn't been handling it alone. Turning normal, human children into demons through ritual wasn't a very common occurrence, according to Jody, the one who had sent them on the job. It was the first time any of them had faced anything even remotely like this-unless one considers the story of Jesse Turner's existence to be _remotely like this._  
Which, of course, Jesse Turner did. He hadn't slept in what, to Claire, seemed like weeks. Ben had, for the most part, appeared to have the most sincere confidence in Jesse's well-being, though Claire hadn't missed those not-so-furtive peeks Ben had been slipping in the older boy's direction.  
"Yeah," Claire finally agreed, moving to sit next to him. "But I mean, he hasn't really talked much about... his origins. Do you think it's okay to bring it up? Doesn't that seem kind of rude?"  
Ben chuckled. "After all you've been through, you're still such a church girl."  
To compensate, she smacked him on the arm. "I'm _serious, _Ben."  
Ben's brief smile faded. Then, with a short nod, he said, "Yeah. Yeah, let's go talk to him." He jumped from the bed and held his hand out to Claire. "Ready?" she nodded and took it, and together they walked out to the tiny balcony of the motel room.  
The coolness of the night washed over Claire the moment they stepped outside. She shivered, and Ben squeezed her hand. The sun had fallen behind the distant mountains, and, as they were in the foothills, Claire could see the smattering of lights from tiny cities spread out in the valley below like shattered glass. The breeze ruffled Jesse's hair, and Claire wished for a moment to touch it, to smooth it down and kiss his temple and tell him it was going to be okay. But she was rooted to the spot, her hand in Ben's much larger one and her throat stuck shut.  
Finally, Jesse murmured, "Yes?"  
Ben cleared his throat. "How you doing, Jess?"  
The boy's shoulders shifted into a slight shrug and back again. "Alright."  
"It's just that," Ben continued, moving closer and tugging Claire along with him, "we're worried about you."  
Jesse shook his head a little. "Don't be. I'm alright."  
There was a moment of silence between the trio, though the faintest of sirens and dogs barking in the distance could be heard, nearly concealed by the tame wind rustling through the trees. "It's got to be hard," Claire said, finding her voice, "with the demons taking kids."  
Jesse sighed gently. "Yes, it's hard. But I'm okay."  
"Jesse-" Ben said, putting his free hand on the boy's shoulder. "You can trust us. It's okay to tell us if you're not-"  
"I'm coping, Ben," Jesse finally jumped down from the railing and turned to look at them, and for the first time in her memory Claire could see, in the dim light from streetlamps and other rooms, his eyes shining with tears. "It's hard, and I admit it, and I'm coping. I'm-it's just-what if this is what I was meant for? These kids, being... being their leader, their... _god, _is it _wrong _to want it?"  
Claire's eyes widened. "What?" she gasped.  
Jesse bit his lip, his eyes wild and desperate. "I've been alone my entire life. Is it wrong to want people who understand what it's like, being like this? Is it wrong to secretly hope we can't save them? I hate it, I hate thinking it, and of course I'm going to do everything I can to make sure we stop this from happening, but a part of me..." He turned away again, and something inside Claire broke.  
Letting go of Ben's hand, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Jesse's slim shoulders. He was quivering, and she refused to let him go. "Jesse, listen to me," she said soothingly, "okay? You're not alone anymore. I promise. You have me, and you have Ben, and you don't need an army of demon children to be your family. _We're _your family now. And we-we love you."  
Jesse choked back a little sob, and Claire drew him closer to her. Letting out a shaky breath, he said, "But I'm a freak. I'm-I'm evil. I'm the goddamn anti-Christ, Claire! You can't fucking _love _the god_damn _anti-Christ!" Even as he shouted this, he collapsed against her, shaking violently with suppressed tears, suppressed rage.  
She smoothed his hair down gently, kissed his temple, and murmured to him, "Jess. I have seen even angels do terrible things. If God can abandon his children and His angels can be evil, the child of a demon can deserve to be loved. It's gonna be okay."  
In a split second, she felt Ben's warm arm around her waist as Jesse's fell across her shoulders, and she leaned into both of them. She looked up to see Jesse's head on Ben's shoulder and the younger boy's other arm around Jesse's waist. She held them tighter to her. Jesse's fingers were in her hair and Ben's dug into her hip. And in that moment, the night didn't seem so cold and the world didn't seem so hopeless. They had each other; it was going to be okay. 


End file.
